May be this was just my experience. May be it happens to everyone as they grown up, fly the nest and have to start getting by on their own two feet.
For me, someone who thought themselves as naturally motivated to perform well, focus on whatever task I had at hand, and get things done: I woke up to a bit of a shock when I graduated from uni and got stuck into my first job.
This was actually an unpaid internship - and looking back, I don’t blame myself for not feeling particularly motivated.
Other than my deeply engrained good-girl fears of ‘being told off’ I had nothing to motivate me to go above and beyond.
Now, none of this was a major problem until I started working for myself.
Don’t get me wrong: I was living the dream. I got to shun that ‘oh god it’s Monday!’ feeling. I could stay up late on a Sunday night. Heck, I could stay up late any night!
I was the boss of me.
This was super fun! For… may be a month? That’s when I began to notice feelings that would become frequent visitors over the course of my freelance career:
Ung.. I don’t want to get out of bed - why should I bother?
What’s the point - nothing I do even works! No one wants what I make.
What the fuck should I do today? I have so much to do - I don’t know what to do!
And introverted dream aside, I was starting to feel lonely and isolated - no one could relate to what I was going through.
After all, I chose this. I asked for this dream - it was my responsibility that it had become a bit of a nightmare.
I was one demotivated creative introvert.
So this episode may not be useful for every single person listening: you might be in a full time job and very happy with your productivity thank you very much - but may be not. You might be trying to get a side-gig, a passion project off the ground in your free time and are struggling to motivate yourself and get it going.
Or you’re a freelancer who knows if they don’t get their act together, this month’s bills are going to be left unpaid. Or worse - you’ll have to go and get a ‘real job’ again.
My aim is to share what I’ve learned in my time as freelancer and solopreneur. What to do when you’re feeling unfocussed, demotivated and well, a bit depressed.
Well, I’ve been there and I know how painful it can feel. Now, we’re going to change that. We’re going to do this as a super tactical, super doable troubleshooting guide for the demotivated creative introvert.