A somewhat gentler Year of Fun challenge from last week... but not without it's own risks of mild peril.
Candle making was something that wasn't actually on my Year of Fun bucket list, until a small brainwave I had a couple of months ago.
Two male friends on separate occasions expressed their irrational love for... candles.
Without going into any gender stereotypes, I'll just say that I was surprised. I like candles well enough, but really I'm more of an incense gal.
But these guys were very enthusiastic about the waxen light source. In fact one coughed up £30 for a candle that smelled of obscure trees. £30.
Pondering this mystery, the brainwave came to me.
In this week’s episode of the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to Thea Orozco of Introvertology.
Thea started Introvertology four years ago, after talking to two frustrated people on Twitter who had been comparing themselves to others and feeling broken. It was clear to her that they weren’t broken, they were one of the 50% of the US population whose strengths aren’t shouted from the rooftops.
After working for a time as a life coach for introverts, Thea realised that she got a kick out of helping her entrepreneur clients. She also noticed a pattern with introverted entrepreneurs and thought leaders – that many of them couldn’t grow their business because they were approaching social media marketing like an extrovert, so they felt overwhelmed and burnt out and with a huge case of imposter syndrome.
So now she's here, helping introverted entrepreneurs make a difference in this world by authentically sharing their products and gifts and knowledge and ideas.
What we discussed:
- Feeling weird and broken as an introvert
- Are personally type tests helpful or harmful
- How our to deal with the negative stories we tell ourselves
- How the inner work is just as important as the outer work
- Transferring confidence from one area of your life to another
- Biggest challenges introverts face in business
- The problem with being a multipotentialite
- How to go to a conference and manage your energy
- How to overcome fear of the camera and embrace video content
Links:
Thea's takeaways from Social Media Marketing World
Oh boy. Where to begin...
I guess at the beginning. On January 14th 2018, I booked myself in for the trip of a life time.
A trip to Peru... and a trip in Peru.
There was the flight, that was one part of the trip. Then there was the psychedelic trip. the spiritual trip. The healing trip. That part of the journey was with ayahuasca, a 'plant medicine' which makes DMT available in our body.
DMT is a very powerful stimulator of seretonin receptors in the brain, which doesn't normally get into the body because it's broken down by the stomach. But when you make a drink with the a plant like chacruna (containing DMT) and mix it with the vine of ayahuasca, the latter acts as a blocking agent and the DMT can get into the body, and the effects are rather undeniable.
While the plant is illegal in the UK and many other parts of the world, it is still currently legal in South America, and the most popular place for us gringos to experience it is in Peru.
I won't bore you with the backstory, but I had done my research and decided that if I found a retreat centre that looked safe and appealing, I'd go for it. Dreamglade checked all my boxes, I found some reasonably priced flights for May and off I went.
First off, I just hope I do a good job at explaining what I understand ayahuasca to be, and basically do the whole tradition justice. If you think ayahuasca is another party drug, or something to try out for the 'fun of the ride', you've got the wrong end of the vine.
In this podcast, I'm going to go in depth about my experience (so you'll notice it's a fair amount longer than usual) and I hope I can offer some help and answer some questions to any of you pondering ayahuasca use for its healing properties.
As always, if you have any questions after the show, simply send an email to hello@thecreativeintrovert.com and I'll do my best to answer or find someone who can.
The starting place for any adventure, project, collaboration, big leap, epic change, scary ass challenge that I take on is answering the simple question:
Why?
Why am I doing this?
Why am I really doing this?
Why does this matter to me?
It's not often I get asked these 'why' questions. More common is 'How'?
How do you get the courage to speak on stage?
How did you build your website?
How do you grow your lnstagram account?
These questions are pointless, without first finding your why.
But I get why you aren't asking why more.
It’s not a question we’re encouraged to ask. At one point, you were probably really good at asking ‘why?’… that was until some big person told you to be quiet and stop being so nosey.
Or my personal (un)favourite: ‘I’ll tell you when you’re older.’
My parents have a LOT of questions to answer…
Anyway, starting with why isn’t a new or radical idea. You just have to watch the TED talk by Simon Sinek to get on that bandwagon.
The reason I’m getting into it today with you, at the start of this 21 day journey into facing the Resistance, is to show you how having your grand Why will help you when it comes to overcoming creative resistance, that inner critic, and finally achieving all your dreams.
I realised some time ago the only way I can do something scary, something my inner Resistance is preventing me from undertaking, is to have a damn good reason why.
Full show notes: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2mB
In this week’s episode of the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to Kerstin Pressler of Sparkling Creative.
What we discussed:
- How Kerstin turned her painting into jewellery
- Owning your creative superpowers and using them to make a thriving business
- Finding creative ways to run a business
- The challenges introverts face
- How to deal with lack of support
- How to talk about our work
- Limiting beliefs we face as creative introverts
For the show notes: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2kY
We’ve spent the last three podcasts in this Enneagram series going through the three triads, covering all the core 9 types. The idea is that your core type, one of the nine numbers we’ve discussed, describe your personality overall.
However: it gets a bit more complex. The wing - another type - adds an important, sometimes contradictory, element to your personality.
Last weekend was opening weekend and I surprised myself: I got stuck in to Brighton Festival for the first time.
On Saturday I went with a friend to a comedy gig. I didn’t have much in terms of expectations, I just knew it was at the right time of day (early evening - I’m not going to an 9pm gigs because, bedtime) and it was in the right place: the Warren.
The Warren is a part of the festival that I’ve heard very good things about, so I wanted to explore it. And oh boy: was I in for a treat.
I have this thing, may be it’s because I’m fairly empathic or maybe it’s because I know how it feels to be on stage…
But I make extra effort to smile and laugh.
And may be it was the beer, but after the initial awkward 5 minutes (which by the way EVERYONE experiences - something to think about if you’re scared of being on stage - you only need to get past the first 5 minutes)
After that passed, I was basically in hysterics. And I mean hysterics: laughing and crying. Yes, there were tears. I think the comedian took a shine to me then, because I was clearly a fan - and pulled me on stage to dance with him as part of this bit where he acts out the starting credits to Magnum PI, with the themesong playing…
Apparently I was only there for 15 seconds, but it obviously felt like an eternity.
Thank god there was some booze in the system or that would have been much, much worse.
Click here for show notes
If you’ve been keeping up with this series on the Enneagram system, you’ll know about what it is, where it comes from, all the different nine personality types and the wings of each type.
Unless you’re already familiar with the Enneagram, I really recommend going back and checking out the rest of the series here, in order to get much sense from today's post.
OK so today we’re talking about the Levels of Development. Now this is what really got me hooked and interested in learning more about the Enneagram because I don’t know of any other typology system that really lays out in detail this idea of progress within each personality type.
And forgive me, if you’re someone who understands the Enneagram as more than just a personality typology, I know it’s not defined in that way by everyone, but for the sake of this beginners series, let’s look at it in that light.
The idea is that there is an overall structure to each personality type. Each type description spans from healthy traits, to its average traits, and then to its unhealthy traits.
Full episode show notes here: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2jA
Reading is one of the best solitary activities there is, and I for one have always been - since I could read I guess - a big old book worm.
But one thing that you can’t do alone, is discuss the book afterwards - and this is something I love to do. It’s like going to see a film: for me, the best part is discussing the film afterwards with the person you went with. And as much as I love solo cinema going I do miss that post-mortem part.
So books are no different. On the odd occaision someone has read the same book as me - ideally recently because my memory sucks - there’s nothing like a good discussion about the book. What we liked, what we didn’t like, what we learned.
Oh and on that note - most of the books - 99% - are non-fiction. For whatever reason, I got on the non-fiction train a few years ago and haven’t gotten off since, apart from the odd graphic novel.
But I don’t have many friends who read non-fiction quite as avidly as I do, well, until I moved to Brighton. Last year, while hunting for speakers for a live event myself and a friend put on, Wildfire Women, I met Donna for the first time.
Donna is the founder of Gozen Girls and has recently started her own podcast.
The idea behind Gozen Girls is getting together to discuss books, mostly non-fiction, written by women. The non-fiction part is what hooked me, and I finally went to my first GG book club: I didn’t have a choice when I saw the book to be discussed was Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
I loveElizabeth Gilbert. So much. I had put off reading Eat Pray Love for the longest time, purely because I thought it was - and please don’t get offended - ‘chick lit’. I thought it was a fictional account of some soppy love story and that just didn’t inspire me to read.
But then someone gave me a copy as a gift, and I decided - why the hell not. Since reading EPL, I declared my all out fangirl status for Elizabeth Gilbert and decided to consume all of her works.
Big Magic is her finest work, in my opinion, second only by a hair to EPL.
Now it’s safe to say that the book club were a fan too. And, happily, everyone there was all up for having those big conversations that Gilbert starts in Big Magic: about creativity, the resistance, fear, courage, purpose, creative calling and so much more.
It was an awesome night full of stimulating conversations that left me pondering all sorts of questions afterwards, and reminded me of how lucky I am to have this creative, open minded community on my doorstep. Which I guess I already knew, but if someone didn’t know that, all they would have to do is go to a book club like this and see for themselves.
And that’s my message for you today. Is there a ready-made community available for you on your doorstep? May be it’s also a book club - they’re common in most cities. Or can you be the one to start one, like Donna?
It doesn’t take much to get a group of people giving there opinions about something they love, like a book, and you don’t have to do anything other than show up. In fact, a couple of women who joined us did just that: they sat back and absorbed.
I didn’t leave feeling drained, likely because it was lifted to two hours which is just about my limit, and everyone was polite enough to give each other space to pipe up, if they wanted.
No pressure from Donna, who was a wonderful facilitator: who asked great questions and gave us a worksheet to go through which I found very helpful. If you’re subscribed to the Museletter you’ll receive the questions Donna gave us from that in this week’s update.
So, a perfectly introvert friendly evening, even if it was technically a group environment.
Fun rating: 8/10
Links mentioned:
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
- Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
- Gozen Girls
If you’ve been following along on this Enneagram series so far, you’ll know exactly what the heck I’m talking about and are ready for this instalment where I go through the final 3 types 8,9,1 of the Enneagram.
If not, don’t worry! You’ll want to go back to the first episode in this series, which you can find here.
Ok so last week I spoke about the Thinking triad: that is the three personality types, described by the enneagram that are types 5,6,7.
Today we’re onto the Instinctive triad: so we have three more personality types to dig into.
What what - an introvert at a conference!?
I know - but remember I do like a challenge...
This was an unexpectedly fun part of my week, and my conclusion for why this was is... FOCUS.
My funk last week, I believe, is down to a lack of focus.
A feeling that is definitely disturbing to type-A MUST BE ACHIEVING folk like myself.
Focussing on a speaker at a conference is much like the equivalent of watching a film at the cinema vs. watching Netflix at home. Your focus is increased. I bet you aren't scrolling through Instagram at the cinema.
Fun rating: 7.5/10
I did leave at lunchtime (6 speakers is quite enough for me, thank you) but I feel that was the perfect dose of though-provoking information, lots of tips and a lot of people to carry me into the weekend!
(NOTE: This is also the first ever off-the-cuff podcast I've recorded, so if you want the full low down - word fluff and all - definitely listen to the full episode.)
If you’ve been following along on this Enneagram series so far, you’ll know exactly what the heck I’m talking about and are ready for this instalment where I go through the types 5,6,7 of the Enneagram.
If not, don’t worry! You’ll want to go back to the first episode in this series, which you can find here.
Ok so last week I spoke about the Feeling triad: that is the three personality types, described by the enneagram that are types 2,3,4.
Today we’re onto the Thinking triad: so we have three more personality types to dig into.
I've been in a bit of a funk lately... nothing serious, just a bit of apathy that I know will pass.
What's weird is that things that might have excited me and challenged me and delighted me in the past, aren't quite doing the job this time.
Do you ever experience this? I'm sure, if you're human, you do. It's not a feeling that says something's wrong, or even that there's a problem to solve. In some ways, I'd love a problem to solve - as long as it means I can get fired up about it.
Instead, I'm left with a vague sense of impatience and craving, but without any real drive to take wholehearted action - which is odd, because I've historically been a very action-oriented, head strong type.
So this apathy can range from day to day activities, certain coffee shops I love (or have loved) to work in, bits and bobs for the Creative Introvert and how I choose to spend my free time - including many of the activities I've put in my Jar of Fun.
But what does this all meeeean??
Well, that's the question I've been asking. i've been journalling about it, discussing it with my pals, sending intentions out to the universe to answer me: what is this slump all about?
If something isn't fun anymore... What's changed?
If the activity hasn't changed... And my circumstances are still the same - and on the whole, very good - I guess it's me that's the culprit of this change.
Now I embrace change, or at least I attempt to.
Particularly personal change - heck, I wouldn't have started this Creative Introvert business if I wasn't a personal development junkie myself.
But I can't deny this has made me feel a bit like an awkward chrysalis (by the way, have you seen the process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly? That sh*t is crazy) somewhere between my former caterpillar self, wiggling around and munching on everything in it's path, and the incredible butterfly that soars all around your garden.
It's not entirely pleasant, but I'll take it if it means the butterfly stage is coming.
I'm also using this caterpillar butterfly metaphor to explain - to myself as well as you - the change we all go through at various stages of life, over and over again, as we shed our former self that may be limiting us in some way, and become what we're destined to be.
I'm using the word 'destined' lightly, because I'm not sold on the idea of fate or destiny currently, but I am a big believer in their being a True Self, or a more authentic, genuine self, that we're possibly always subconsciously aware of... and are always getting steered towards from within... if we listen carefully.
Ok so esoteric stuff aside, what does this mean for the Year of Fun?
Well, I've decided to take an approach which I've been doing more and more over the recent year or so, but my former caterpillar self would absolutely balk at.
I've been looking at my to-do list and only picking out what I want to do in that moment.
If something feels uninspiring, I leave it for a time when I'm feeling more up to it.
Of course, I still keep my appointments and scheduled calls, but I haven't been acting on something just because it's in my Asana calendar.
Now there are times when this approach might not be a good idea, and of course I'm in a position where I'm under very little external pressure or responsibilities, but on the whole: I think each and every one of us could stand to pay attention to the way we feel about the day-to-day tasks we demand of ourselves.
We go into autopilot, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. But it can be limiting you becoming your butterfly self. When you stop and pay attention to how you really feel about things in your life that were once serving you but now may be aren't... that's when you can usher in real change.
Of course, this is especially applicable to this little Year of Fun project. Part of me - the INTJ - the thinker, the finisher, the doer, the analyser - wants to turn everything into a science experiment with rules and controls and a method and an aim and... I'm not sure that's helping me find my FUN.
Full show notes: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2li
Last week I introduced this series which is all about the Enneagram: a system for describing nine personality types.
Like I said, I see this as just one more way of learning about yourself, and it’s a fun tool to geek out on.
Today we’re going to be looking at three of the nine types, which all fall under the Feeling triad.
The two, also known as the helper, the three, also known as the Achiever and the Four, also known as the Romantic.
When these three types are at their best, they’re in touch with their feelings, their emotions, they’re compassionate and considerate of others - they’re basically the nurturing ones we need in our life.
But when they’re at their worst, they can get out of touch with their feelings, suppressing them in order to conform or be liked by others, rejecting their own identity in the belief that they’ll be more lovable if they act in another way: creating a false self image.
Links mentioned:
Personality Types by Don Richard Riso
The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele
Here we are - the 13th week of Fun in the year.
Since we last spoke I had a birthday, exited my twenties - with some trepidation, some relief.
I was planning to use my birthday as the subject of this week’s podcast but if I’m honest, there was little to say other than, I had a nice time with my best friends, basically on a pub crawl around my beloved Brighton.
But that’s a very short episode and I figured you deserved something more substantial.
Fortunately, my quest to find something else fun to do this week to tell you about resulted in some interesting self reflection, and that’s really what I want to tell you about.
Sure, I made a collage, which was in my jar of fun, a safe option, and something I really should do more often. I’m a bit of a hoarder when it comes to magazines, which is understandable when the ones I buy can cost up to £10 or so.
But cutting them up and making an interesting collage from them makes me feel a bit more justified in my hoarding.
Weirdly, my favourite part of making a collage is the cutting. I love the process of flicking through a magazine or catalogue and finding images or words that speak to me. The actual assembly part is much of a muchness.
Anyway, back to my revelation.
When I pulled ‘make a collage’ from the jar of fun, I was a bit disappointed. I’ve mentioned before about my need for challenge, so I suppose that ws missing. But there was another element: people.
Recently, I’ve had some really really fun times with people. Not randoms either, I mean people I consider my very good friends.
And whilst I still enjoy my solo cinema trips or an hour spent cutting and sticking for a collage, there’s part of me that is really craving that sense of a shared experience.
Improv wouldn’t have been as fun if I didn’t have my accomplice, thank you Rachel. That cottage weekend was fun entirely because of the company I was in.
This realisation definitely put me in a bit of a tailspin.
Am I questioning my introversion?
No, actually. Because I know where my boundaries lie. I know that a shared activity doesn’t mean doing something with strangers - like the Charleston episode. It’s doing things with people I know and love.
It also doesn’t mean partying late into the night - groups above 5-6 become substantially more draining for me.
It just means making time, regularly, to do things for fun whilst also considering asking a friend or two to come along. I’m very rarely the one to ask someone to ‘do something’ with me. I get the invites, I say yay or nay. That’s been my comfort zone for these 30 years.
But now, I’m wondering if embracing my idea of fun means being the inviter, not just the invitee. Which also means getting used to the idea of hearing no, i’m busy. Or no, not for me. Yikes. Is this how extroverts feel?
Anyway, that’s all for today - I’m going to send out some invites this weekend to see if I can recruit anyone to partake in a fun activity with me - and I will let you know how I get on. Wish me luck!
People are weird.
Right?
l don't know about you but understanding myself is hard enough, let alone the behaviour of others.
This is one of the reasons I'm a self-confessed junkie of personality type testing.
If you listened to any of the Self Knowledge Series - the 10 part series that l published at the tail end of 2017, you might be familiar with some of my favourite typologies or at least the ones I've found most helpful in my personal life and my creative business career.
If you missed it, you can scroll back through the archives or download my free, 68-page handbook that takes you through each of the type tests and explains how to use them in a practical way.
That said, the series is by no means complete. There are MANY more typologies out there, some more useful than others, but plenty worth checking out.
The one that has most recently got me excited is definitely not new, and I'm sure many of you will be familiar with it, and that's the Enneagram.
So... what IS the Enneagram? And why do you need to know about yet ANOTHER typology?
Well that's what I'll be covering in today's podcast, and over the next several weeks.
Links mentioned:
Matthew Campling's 12-Type Enneagram (example of the numerology stuff)
Personality Types by Don Richard Riso
A little back story for today’s Fun recap, which is a bit of a yearly tradition. Around the Easter break, myself and 5 very dear friends have a habit of going away. We’ve been to Berlin, Amsterdam, New York, and they’ve all been some of my favourite holidays ever.
This holiday however, we all stayed in one rather large house in the English countryside, somewhere near Godalming I believe. My slight concern was that there wouldn’t really be any chance of me having some solo time, other than at night, especially when the weather is a bit pants and the idea of going for a little walk on my own was less appealing than going to an all night rave.
Full show notes: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2kv
Do you feel like you’re ready to quit?
Do you feel like you’re flogging a dead horse and beginning to look like a creazy person to you fam and friends?
Do you have an iron-clad grip on a project or pursuit that is costing you time, money and energy - and your sanity?
Then OH BOY do I have a podcast for you!
Shownotes >> https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2bL
My bad: I did indeed miss one update last week, and I honestly don’t have a particularly good excuse.
Show Notes: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2k3
It did help me remember that.. the whole point of this year long challenge is to explore the concept of fun: what fun means to me, what new ways can I explore fun, and that also means finding out what I don’t find fun.
There were a handful of fun things I could have told you about last week: but the actual idea of sitting down to write, record and edit a podcast… sounded terribly un-fun.
Which taught me something new:
Fun fluctuates. What sounds fun one day - or even most days - may not be fun on another.
And this level of instinct: of going with what feels good for me right now and paying attention to what my body is saying - rather than my dictator-like mind that so badly wants to follow the script and do what my Asana calendar says - this is something I’m really working on right now. Practising, may be a better way to describe it.
But here we are: I’m back in a more inspired mood, ready to fill you in on my latest fun adventures.
This is a bit of a controversial one, but I’d love to ask you dear listener: what comes to mind when you think of going to the cinema - or ‘the movies’ if you’re stateside - all alone?
For a very long time, this was a total no-go for me. As much as this introvert embraces virtually all solitary versions of activities… with some exceptions - seeing a film alone was just not on the list of fun.
Until… I was travelling solo in Avignon, a few years back, and I found myself rather bored on a rainy day. And I just happened to be right by their trendy artsy cinema, which was showing a film in English (with French subtitles.)
And… Yes, I felt a bit awkward for all of 5 minutes, until I realised how brilliant this was. I mean, it’s the perfect solo activity because what kind of maniac speaks in the cinema? Bad form. Compare that to a meal, where talking to your buddy can enhance the experience - well, if you like commenting on your food as much as I do…
In addition, I could cry without holding back! Which has become a habit of mine, almost regardless of what film I’m watching - I can’t seem to control my emotions in my old age, and have even been known to cry in trailers. Doesn’t take much.
OK so: the cinema: a fun activity, in my opinion regardless of companionship.
I actually managed two cinema trips in the last fortnight, one solo, one with friends.
One experience cost all of £4, one cost over £65.
Which was more fun?
Well..
The £4 experience was the solo trip. I happened to be in Worthing, an arguably sleepy town not far from my place in Brighton, and I thought it would be a nice end to a rather high-adrenaline morning (I taught a workshop that morning) plus the theatre itself, called the Dome, is really quite charming looking, and I figured it would be worth a look inside at least.
Now I had no idea you could still go to the cinema for less than £10 in the UK. But £4 tickets that - get this - included a free cup of tea or coffee… well, that is still blowing my mind.
And the theatre itself is genuinely lovely - much nicer than the big multiplexes we have that cost a fortune and have sticky floors.
So that was a success. I watched the Shape of Water, which I adored, cried heartily at, and have continued to argue with my loved ones about. That’s the other part of the solo cinema experience: I thought I’d miss the long debates I have afterwards discussing the film, but more often than not, your mates will at some point see it too even if you go separately. Plenty of chances for film debates.
Ok so cinema experience #2: the £60-odd quid experience, was a bit more unique. This is the Secret Cinema: which is basically an immersive experience where you go to some warehouse in the arse-end of nowhere, which has been decked out to look like you’re on the set of a blockbuster film.
I’d been to a Star Wars themed one before, which was amazing, but this one was Blade Runner.
Now, I’m a fan Blade Runner, both the original and the revamp. I even tolerated Ryan Gosling for 2.5 hours.
And this experience was - I think it’s the first fun activity I’ve spoken to you about - which involved my actual real life friends. Who were by far the highlight of my night: the actual Secret Cinema itself was… underwhelming.
It was kind of fun being in this seedy world of neon lights, actual rain even though we were indoors, strange laboratories, a kind of strip club…. Sure, they did a good job.
When it came time to watch the film, you sort of forget what you came to do. And despite paying through our noses for tickets, you didn’t even get a free tea.
Honestly? I’d take a quiet afternoon in the Dome over Secret Cinema any day.
Fun rating for Worthing’s Dome: 8/10
Fun rating for Secret Cinema: 5/10
When I worked a 9–5 job in a design agency, I couldn’t think of anything worse than living the same day over and over again… until the weekend, at which point my routine fell apart and with the help of a lot of booze and ice cream, so did I.
Freeing myself from those shackles, my life took the other direction - and my first few months as a freelancer looked a lot like CHAOS.
I figured, my life was now about FREEDOM. Why ruin it with boring old routine?
Now. I have learnt since then that if you embrace routine, designing your life to suit your needs, desires and values - even if you’re a routine rebel - you will actually create MORE freedom than you ever dreamed possible.
Not to mention the success which comes with getting shit done.
So… how to go about designing your ideal life through routine? That’s what this podcast episode is for.
Links mentioned:
If you read the title, you'll know already that I did not uphold my planned fun activity this week which was to go to a car boot sale.
Unfortunately the British springtime weather just didn't seem appropriate for a wander around parked cars on the 9th floor of a car park.
So I did what any sensible introvert would do and went to a museum.
If I'm honest, staying in doors would arguably have been as much fun.
Back to back cups of tea and episodes of Girls, being entertained by Lena Dunham and the crew.
But I know myself well enough to remember: staying in doors all day ends up making me quite a grump, come 4pm.
I did attempt to entertain myself indoors: I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom which was satisfying.
But then I was finished... and only 20 minutes had passed.
I think this need for novelty is to do with my high sensation seeking nature, which often conflicts with my high sensitivity and introversion, it's a push pull situation that can really make decision making tough at times like this.
Past of me says stay inside where is dry and safe, part of me says get out and experience the new!
If you want to know more about that high sensation seeking and high sensitivity dynamic duo, I recommend checking out the podcast I recorded with Dr Ken Carter.
Ok so the museum.
To be fair, this place is all of a 5 minute walk from where i live,so i really didn't have much of an excuse not to go.
Actually, if it wasn't for the year of fun, I'd probably never get round to going. .. it's that weird phenomenon that happens when you live somewhere with lots on your doorstep but never go because they're so close to home. You'll get round to it one day.
Full shownotes here: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2iK
Show notes >> https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2hW
In this week’s episode of the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to Joe Moran, historian of the everyday, about his book on shyness, ‘Shrinking Violets.’
What we discussed:
- The difference between shyness and introversion
- How shyness is more common than you might think
- The value of silence
- Why small talk is actually a very thoughtful thing to do
- Whether or not we blush for a reason
- The difference between shame and embarrassment
- How shyness is seen differently over the world
- Would art exist without the shy?
- Why shyness is like lower back pain
- The Personality Positivity Movement
Links:
Shrinking Violets by Joe Moran
Quiet by Susan Cain
SHOWNOTES: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2hK
By far the classiest, most cultured edition of the Year of Fun so far - I went to see (and hear) the orchestra!
I've only been to the orchestra once before: the result of a spare ticket needing a taker, and I took it.
Honestly, the first time: I wasn't super excited. I like live music, though I very rarely go to gigs these days because of, you knew, standing in a sweaty crowd of strangers, the worst of whom who have no ability to recognise that standing in front of a 5'3" girl isn't the most thoughtful thing to do when youre 6’4".
But sitting in a nice theatre with lots of people who's average age doubles your own? Heck yes: that's my kind of fun on a Sunday afternoon.
Anyway, that first time I was in tears within 5 mins - I was overwhelmed with the magic of it.
Seeing these real people move in such precision & synchronicity to play music that is the auditory equivalent to the Mona Lisa... I mean, it was incredible.
So naturally I was pretty thrilled when I pulled this one out of the Jar of Fun last week.
For one: this really is a perfect thing for an over-thinking introvert like me to do on a rainy afternoon. Honestly I was in quite a funk all weekend, for no real reason, just feeling like a cloud of discontent, itchiness & apathy was passing overhead and the last thing I wanted to do was to sit at my laptop… But I didn't want to see anyone either.
The orchestra provided a perfect respite from a - temporary - moodiness.
No demands to speak to anyone, perform or create: all of which I do actually enjoy, just at certain times. This musical break let me just exist, in my comfy chair, and be an observer .
Observing is one of my favourite ways to calm my busy mind- and I recommend it to any introvert who struggles as much as I do with traditional meditation.
Instead of challenging my mind: a kind of trap I fall into when I sit in silence & attempt to let my thoughts float by like clouds or whatever piece of shit advice you get on the Headspace app - instead, I let myself experience what's happening around me and use that as a point of focus.
Before long, I'm far more present & mindful than I can ever get when I try to sit still and go blank.
And by the way - you don't need to go to the orchestra to do this. I first practised this on a long distance walk on the South Downs. I started to pay a kind of unexciting game to distract myself from my achey legs: l started just noting the colour of everything around me.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t just saying: green, green, green - there were lots of colours to see, and it wasn’t long before I found myself in a zen-like reverie and not at all thinking about my sore legs.
Back to the orchestra:
Whilst I didn’t break down and start crying this time,
I was just as impressed by the performance.
My seat was amazing - first row of a balcony - so I could really see the whole team doing their thing.
The conductor was the star of the show, if I’m honest: at one point he jumped - both feet off the ground - he literally used his whole body to conduct. Amazing, especially when you’re working within an art form that is… well, formal - everyone has to dress in black and sit in a certain way and be about as regimented as an army platoon, with y’know, less killing people.
It also got me thinking about our position in life - whatever domain, whether it’s at home, or in school or in your career - we’re all individuals, yes - we all have our own piece of music to play - but we’re also part of this whole. That when you put us together, magic is created that wouldn’t otherwise exist.
Not the most unique of metaphors I know, but it really is perfect. It especially made me chuckle when I saw the guy whose job it is to play the triangle.
I mean, you look at these incredibly complex, elaborate, finely tuned instruments with lots of strings or pipes - and then you look at this seemingly simple, three-sided piece of bent metal. It seems kind of… juvenile, and out of place. Insignificant, next to it’s fellow percussion instrument: the cymbals. Whoah - they may be simple but everyone knows you pay attention to a clash from the cymbals.
That’s when I got a bit of a surprise. When the triangle got going, towards the end of one piece, it was unmissable. It’s distinct sound calling our attention, emphasising the beat and cutting through the entire strings and wind and brass section - it definitely gave the cymbals a run for their money.
So, another cheesy metaphor, but I can’t help myself - don’t underestimate the seemingly small, simple and insignificant parts. They DO make a difference and certainly hold their own.
Now I know getting to an orchestra may not be as easy for you as it was for me - here in Brighton, a considerably culture-friendly city - but I’ll bet you can make time to sit and just listen to a classic piece of music. It doesn’t need to be classical, but I would encourage it: partly because of the fun you can have in playing my noticing game.
So like I described on my walk, where I noticed the colours of all the things - try to notice the details in the music - what instruments can you hear? How does it make you feel?
One of the pieces played was ‘Night on a Bald Mountain’ by Mussorgsky - also featured in Disney’s Fantasia - definitely made me feel high levels of anxiety, probably because of that scene in the film etched into my confused childhood head - but even that was fun to see how my body was responding to the music in such a dramatic way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1no7hOlSs
Fun rating: 7/10
It really was a lovely afternoon, and I thank you Brighton Philharmonic for the entertainment.
Next week's fun activity is...
Go to a car-boot sale!
SHOWNOTES: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2bG
Recently, we've been talking about the joys - OK less so the joys - but at least the usefulness of email when it comes to getting anything from press, more work, better clients - all the things.
But... you may be a bit stuck on what to email.
You might not have any specific clients or journalists in mind, let alone knew what to say when you reach out.
Consider these 'warm up' emails. I go into these techniques more in-depth in the Email Answer, my online course but the general idea is...
That after sending any one of these emails you are starting a conversation, which sets you up for going in with an ask or your true pitch.
When you dive straight in with the ask like BUY MY THING! or HIRE ME! then you're likely to save someone away especially if they don't know you.
But when you start with a warm up, you move from stranger to... nice person who sent a thoughtful email.
So that's what I'm going to help you with in this podcast.
There are 3 emails that you can send anytime that are very likely start a great conversation.
Links mentioned: