I've been in a bit of a funk lately... nothing serious, just a bit of apathy that I know will pass.
What's weird is that things that might have excited me and challenged me and delighted me in the past, aren't quite doing the job this time.
Do you ever experience this? I'm sure, if you're human, you do. It's not a feeling that says something's wrong, or even that there's a problem to solve. In some ways, I'd love a problem to solve - as long as it means I can get fired up about it.
Instead, I'm left with a vague sense of impatience and craving, but without any real drive to take wholehearted action - which is odd, because I've historically been a very action-oriented, head strong type.
So this apathy can range from day to day activities, certain coffee shops I love (or have loved) to work in, bits and bobs for the Creative Introvert and how I choose to spend my free time - including many of the activities I've put in my Jar of Fun.
But what does this all meeeean??
Well, that's the question I've been asking. i've been journalling about it, discussing it with my pals, sending intentions out to the universe to answer me: what is this slump all about?
If something isn't fun anymore... What's changed?
If the activity hasn't changed... And my circumstances are still the same - and on the whole, very good - I guess it's me that's the culprit of this change.
Now I embrace change, or at least I attempt to.
Particularly personal change - heck, I wouldn't have started this Creative Introvert business if I wasn't a personal development junkie myself.
But I can't deny this has made me feel a bit like an awkward chrysalis (by the way, have you seen the process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly? That sh*t is crazy) somewhere between my former caterpillar self, wiggling around and munching on everything in it's path, and the incredible butterfly that soars all around your garden.
It's not entirely pleasant, but I'll take it if it means the butterfly stage is coming.
I'm also using this caterpillar butterfly metaphor to explain - to myself as well as you - the change we all go through at various stages of life, over and over again, as we shed our former self that may be limiting us in some way, and become what we're destined to be.
I'm using the word 'destined' lightly, because I'm not sold on the idea of fate or destiny currently, but I am a big believer in their being a True Self, or a more authentic, genuine self, that we're possibly always subconsciously aware of... and are always getting steered towards from within... if we listen carefully.
Ok so esoteric stuff aside, what does this mean for the Year of Fun?
Well, I've decided to take an approach which I've been doing more and more over the recent year or so, but my former caterpillar self would absolutely balk at.
I've been looking at my to-do list and only picking out what I want to do in that moment.
If something feels uninspiring, I leave it for a time when I'm feeling more up to it.
Of course, I still keep my appointments and scheduled calls, but I haven't been acting on something just because it's in my Asana calendar.
Now there are times when this approach might not be a good idea, and of course I'm in a position where I'm under very little external pressure or responsibilities, but on the whole: I think each and every one of us could stand to pay attention to the way we feel about the day-to-day tasks we demand of ourselves.
We go into autopilot, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. But it can be limiting you becoming your butterfly self. When you stop and pay attention to how you really feel about things in your life that were once serving you but now may be aren't... that's when you can usher in real change.
Of course, this is especially applicable to this little Year of Fun project. Part of me - the INTJ - the thinker, the finisher, the doer, the analyser - wants to turn everything into a science experiment with rules and controls and a method and an aim and... I'm not sure that's helping me find my FUN.
Full show notes: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2li